When I started working at North Point seven years ago, I was given a project right off the bat. I was asked to create a new orientation process for Small Group Leaders. I had been a Small Group Leader in our middle school ministry for four years so it seemed fitting to give the job to me.

I was faced with the question that many of you have faced: How do you equip a new Small Group Leader to do the job they signed up for?

It seemed like a simple idea at first. I’ll just start making some bulleted lists of the things you need to do, right?

WRONG! Those of us who have tried to do this realize that these list gets very long very quickly. And those of us who actually finished those lists and tried to present it to some wide-eyed hopeful leaders realized how ineffective it was after the first 30 minutes of droning on about different possible scenarios.

It seemed a bit hopeless. There was so much to tell a new Small Group Leader that it was impossible to find where to start. So, I did what I was always taught never to do. I quit trying.

I realized that this is a relational ministry and you just can’t teach people how to do relationships—they just happen. And, to be honest, that worked out very well with about 30-40 percent of our Small Group Leaders. They just got it.

But, that didn’t settle with me either. At the end of the day, the effectiveness of our ministries will not be defined by what happens in the best groups, but by what happens in our worst groups.

So, we got back to work trying to figure out how to answer the question I started with. How do you equip a new Small Group Leader to do the job they signed up for? And I think we’ve finally figured out an answer. Here’s what we discovered:

1. You can’t give a new Small Group Leader a recipe or a list.

2. You can’t give them nothing and hope for the best.

3. You CAN give them a list of THEMES in their initial training that they can put their own relational twist on as they lead.

So, we went to work uncovering what those themes were by talking to some of the best Small Group Leaders we knew. And we found something! We took those themes and called them our BIG IDEAS in a book called Lead Small.

To me, these big ideas finally give me something I can offer to new Small Group Leaders to help guide and encourage them without weighing them down with unnecessary information. Also, it provides a vocabulary to use with my Small Group Leaders to continually encourage and equip them. These five big ideas are broad enough to encompass everything our Small Group Leaders will face but small enough to give them a handle to hold onto when they find themselves in uncertain waters.

Check out Lead Small and give them a try. I hope they’re as helpful to you as they are to me in my ministry.

Over the past few years I have heard one clear and consistent phrase from children and student pastors. That phrase is: “…but my head pastor…”

As in “I would do this but my head pastor….

• won’t get on board with the idea.
• won’t help me get volunteers.
• won’t quit scheduling stuff for adults and taking my volunteers away.
• hasn’t seen a student (or kids) program in years.”

So…here’s what I’m thinking…

I’m thinking I want to hear about head pastors who are on board.

I want to hear about pastors who are doing what it takes to ensure their church is reaching the next generation.

I want to hear about pastors who “Think Orange.”

And then…I want to help you and your pastor get into the Orange Conference for some quality time together to discuss your program.

What do you say? You in?

Here’s the official prize:

• 2 Registrations to the Orange Conference (one must be for your head pastor)
• a 2 hour consulting lunch during Orange to talk systems and volunteer recruitment with me. (I’m buying)
• a copy of Standard Theme to work over your ministry blog.

Here’s how you get it:

1. Must be a follower of @coachshef on Twitter.
2. Retweet this post and/or share it on Facebook.
3. Comment on this post “I’m in!”…include your name and church….And whatever else you want to say.
4. Get your head pastor to email me telling me why they want to come to Orange with you. (the winning email will be part of the post announcing the winner). You can send your emails to info@coachshef.com. Make sure the pastor mentions your church and your name.

All entries are due by September 23rd. The winner will be announced on September 28th.

So…. Who’s in?

Follow Shef every day through twitter or his blog.

This is the finale- Part 3- in a series on the different ways to recruit. Sign up for his RSS feed at Coach Shef

#3. The Pyramid Approach

Basically…let’s talk pyramids schemes (No offense meant here). Your current leaders replace themselves. This is when a leader, who is having a great time serving, brings other leaders into the ministry. Leaders are constantly on the prowl looking for new possible leaders.

PROS
*Your work force is increased exponentially
*Relationships are much more “sticky” than inspiration or guilt
*Highest efficiency = People who are good at it are asking people who would be good at it.
*Leaders come in throughout the year.

CONS
*You have to say “no” sometimes to a friend of a leader.
*This can get tough, but it is still the best way to get leaders.
*Their timing doesn’t necessarily match the time you need most of them.

PRACTICAL IDEAS
*Make this part of your leader culture. Replacing yourself isn’t just a good idea…it’s cultural. It’s one of the main items on your Small Group Leader Job Description (You do have a job description, right?)
*Know who brought the new guy. Leaders are attracted to people just like them…good leaders bring you good leaders. Tell them thanks.
*Equip your leaders with some sort of card. Have a web site or something to give folks information and easily contact you. Basically, don’t make it hard to get ahold of you.
*Make these folks a priority…many of these people will work out.

One of my dreams is not to have to depend on the Traveling Salesman Approach some day. I know many of you live in worlds (unlike mine) that the Lead Pastor just isn’t going to get involved. To be honest, you may not want them involved. The good news is that option #2 and #3 are more efficient anyway. So…get busy…building a great culture of volunteers. The simple fact is…

If your volunteers love volunteering, they will recruit naturally. The amount of leaders who come to you by way of your volunteers is actually an indicator of a great leader culture. You will also have to work less and get quality volunteers as these folks have already been through one round of unofficial interviews by virtue of the conversations with your current leaders.

You can do this.

Want more? Follow Shef on Twitter.

This is Part 2 in a series on different ways to recruit by Coach Shef.

#2. The Storefront Approach

Here we are catching those who “show up” – The right people seek you out. (The wrong ones will sometimes too…Let me say this one more time…Are you running background checks?) This way you know that they are at least a bit interested because they came to you.

PROS
*These folks usually are showing up for the right reasons
*Higher efficiency than #1
*This works throughout the year so you can fill in spots as you go.

CONS
*People come to talk to you at the worst possible time for you to give them the attention you would like to give them
*Orientation is for 1 or two people
*The largest number of openings comes in a big wave once a year at a specific time, so this does not help that.

PRACTICAL IDEAS
*Equip your host team, or yourself with business cards or a printed piece for these folks. Let them observe while you capture some basic information from the card they fill out. Catch up with them after the program.
*Introduce them to another leader right away. Relationships are sticky.
*OK…one more time. Have them sign their permission for you to do a background check early.

Is your “storefront” drawing people to you? Would you add anything to the pros, cons or the practical ideas here? Tomorrow we finish up with arguably the best way to recruit.

Follow Shef on Twitter at http://twitter.com/coachshef

This week we continue our conversation with Coach Shef on recruiting:

There are basically three main ways to get leaders: a Big Push, catching “Show-Ups”, and leaders replacing themselves. I tried to keep with the sales theme from last week’s post on “Selling What’s Important” and I will unveil a different approach over the next 3 days.

#1. The Traveling Salesman Approach

This is the “Big Push” discussed above. Here, we make an appeal, or cast vision, to folks who may or may not be interested. We’re knocking on random doors…the more…the better.

PROS
*Lots of contacts all at once
*Public support from above is important to parents
*Never a bad idea to get buy-in from the top brass
*Works great when you need to “catch-up” all at once.

CONS
*Least efficient method
*People’s inspiration fades quickly
*May get some folks coming for the wrong reasons
*Limited to once a year.

PRACTICAL IDEAS
*See if you can get the head pastor’s support (I realize that this doesn’t always work).
*Get people in as fast as you can, their determination from the “pitch” will fade as time passes.
*Don’t shy away from telling people how challenging the job can be and the requirements you expect out of them. This will inspire the right people and the others will self-eliminate early.
*Getting permission to run a background check right off the bat will send “creepy dudes” running.

What do you like or not like about the “Big Push” method to recruit? What Pros or Cons am I overlooking? Check back tomorrow for another, slightly better way. What image do you think best describes this approach? Send me some ideas and I’ll give you credit!

Follow Shef on Twitter at http://twitter.com/coachshef

There is nothing more important to your ministry than the quality and quantity of your volunteer leaders. So your priority needs to be that.

Normally when I talk about the job of getting leaders, I talk about treating it like a job interview. You can’t be desperate…and you can’t take just anybody. You have to find the right people. I mean that…and still do.

For this post however…I want you to think like a salesmen. Not that you need to sell the job…but you have to think like a salesmen thinks.

Here’s how a salesmen thinks.

1. I make about 1 sale every 5 meetings.

2. I get one meeting for every 10 cold calls I make.

3. If I’m going to make 3 sales a week, I need to have 15 meetings, and therefor I need to make 150 cold calls a week.

At North Point Middle School ministry, we “get” around 1 out of every 3 people that come to see the program. Because by the time they get through the long process, agree to the three year commitment, and go through interviews, 2 of the 3 have fallen off for one reason or another.

In addition to that, it seems that we get 1 out of every 3 people who say they’re interested after an intitial “sales pitch” to actually show up to observe. Whether they say they will to get us off their back or feel inspired in the moment, I have no idea. The reality is, that’s how hard it is to even get people in the environment so you can cast vision and talk about the program.

So, in order to get the 80 new leaders we need a year, we have to get 240 people to come and observe, meaning we have to make 720 “sales pitches” a year….whew!

So let’s say you need 10 new leaders a year. That means you need 30 come to observe and 90 “sales pitches” a year.

Here’s my point. That’s not how most of us think. We think the 10 we are talking to are going to work out. But we’ve got to be realistic.

Here’s point #2. You can’t do it alone. You definitely can’t do it if you also have to worry about programs, curriculum, speaking on Sunday, crazy moms and dads, picking up a case of Ready Whip for the game on Sunday, and being a decent parent and a spouse to your family. You need help.

You need a system.

Check back next week for Part 2 and some practical ideas on what to do. For now, how do you do it? Share your best practices.

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I recently had a member of my team ask me for 5 minutes…

We began our conversation and he started with a lot of prefacing. That’s never a good sign.

As you might have gueseed…after the prefacing…he called me on something I had done that made him uncomfortable. I had fallen short as a leader in his mind…and he told me about it.

So… how do you react?

You feel you’ve been misunderstood. You feel that you need to defend yourself. You feel that it’s disrespectful. You feel like you’ve failed as a leader if you admit failure.

Let me take these one at a time.

So…you feel misunderstood. That may be true…maybe you were. But I’ve got news for you. There’s some truth. It doesn’t matter what you say…it matters what is heard. If you were misunderstood, find out what was misunderstood. My advice during the awkward convo…. just listen.

So…you feel the need to defend yourself. Why? Don’t you want to know when people disagree with something? Or would you rather them disagree with you to someone else and you not know about it? My advice again…just listen.

So…you feel they’re being disrespectful. You would have a point if they publicly questioned you…maybe. You don’t in a one-on-one meeting. It’s not disrespectful…it’s valiant…so stop and listen.

So…you feel you can’t admit you made a mistake. If you can’t admit you made a mistake…get out of leadership. You will do more harm than good. Am I being clear?

When someone sits down to talk to you and things get awkward… you have a choice to make. This is a pivotal moment in your relationship with them. The way you respond the first time will determine the way these things will go in the future.

What choice will you make the next time things get awkward? Can you think of a time this happened to you?

I’ve been wondering about trust specifically when it comes to the cultures we build around us as leaders.

One of my favorite staff talks at North Point is called Trust vs. Suspicion. If you’ve never heard it you can hear some of it on Andy’s Leadership Podcast. That talk and the vocabulary has become part of our culture. You’ll often hear people say that they “filled that gap with trust” when someone has let them down or that they “can no longer trust and it’s time to have a conversation.”

I work in a place where we are trusted to do our jobs, to find our volunteers, to be good stewards of our budgets, and to reach people and lead them into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t questions sometimes, but it simply means that the default setting (our first response to a situation) is to trust.

Recently, I got to see another organization that has an environment where this will simply never be the case. The leader’s primary concern it seems, is to never be “taken” or “suckered.” For good reason too! He has had some terrible experiences with partners and other businesses through the years. The leader will never totally trust anyone…and in turn…that message is clear to staff and volunteers…they will never be trusted. So what’s the cost of this environment?

This will never be a great organization. It will be good at best.

This organization will constantly need a push by the boss. It will never maintain or grow on it’s own. It will never reach critical mass. People need a level of trust to explore, experiment, and dream.

The limiting factor of the organization is simply the leader and their inability to trust.

When it comes to your staff and volunteer culture, do people feel trusted? Do they feel like they can lead without you looking over their shoulder?

(Photo by D Sharon Pruitt and to read more posts by CoachShef, subscribe to his blog.)

I was once told that a definition of leadership was “letting people down at a rate that they can stand.” In some ways, I get that. I think there is a bit more to it but…here’s my problem…I love saying “yes.” I’m still a people pleaser.

And, though I say “yes” too often, I still say “no” all the time for various reasons.

Most of the time it’s not that the idea wasn’t any good…though that happens.

It’s not that we don’t have the budget…though that happens.

It’s not that I simply don’t want to do that…though that happens too…just ask my staff.

Most of the time when I say “no” it is simply a “trust” issue.

And that is not what you think it is either…It’s not that I don’t “trust” the person or the idea…

It’s that I want to be trusted…

I want to run a ministry that is trusted…

I want to be a person that is trusted.

Here’s my tension – I want to be trustworthy and I want to please people.

Here’s my hard truth – I can’t do both.

I simply have too many people making requests of me. If I say “yes” to all…I’m lying to somebody.

As Andy says all the time…Part of being trustworthy is being worthy of trust. (Sounds simple doesn’t it? You should see how many people get their pen out and write it down when he says it!)

Being trustworthy does not mean your perfect. It does mean that you do what you say your going to do, and when you don’t, you “own it.”

Do you tend to say “yes” and overpromise OR say “no” and underpromise? Do you agree that a good leader underpromises… all the time? In your experience, do you think it’s better to disappoint or to lose trust?

(To read more posts by CoachShef, subscribe to his blog.)

I thought we’d start out this week focused on key questions leaders like you and me need to ask to continue to grow and learn. Coach Shef wrote an amazing post on 3 of his favorite questions that I pulled from. You can read the entire piece here. You can also hear more from him at the Orange Conference. Check out Tom Shefchunas’ 3 breakouts on creating Small Groups and taking your XP3 or Student Ministry environments to the next level.

Questions do more than communicate care…they actually help leaders like me. I work with smart and talented people– smarter than me! I want to know what they think…I want to know what they see that I’m missing…and I want to know how to help them.

What do you think?

I’ve noticed that new leaders try to have all the answers. They need to get over that or it’s gonna be an interesting ride!

What am I missing?

People love this question and I do too. They love to look at an issue from their perspective rather than mine and explain it to me. I love to see it a different way.

What do you need that you are not getting right now?

I don’t know if there is a more caring question to ask. The few times I’ve used it I have been amazed at the answers and the responses.

What do you love to be asked by your leader? What do you love to ask as a leader?