Are you a senior leader within your ministry? You might be thinking this will be great for my family ministry team, but I’m not going to go to Orange Conference 2013.

What you might not be aware of is that there’s something in this for you. In fact, here are five ways you as a senior pastor, elder or executive pastor could benefit by attending OC13:

• We have a senior leaders track dedicated to you. Jeanne Stevens, Tom Shefchunas, Jon Acuff, Brian White, Michael Lukaszewski, and I will be bringing you our best insights on helping you make progress as a senior leader.
• Some of the best leadership voices will be speaking. This includes Andy Stanley, Reggie Joiner, Perry Noble, Jeff Shinabarger, Kara Powell, Doug Fields, Charles Jenkins, Bob Goff and more—because we are committed to your leadership.
• Network. Network. Network. You are going to be in rooms with ministry leaders who are a doing what you do all week. There is no better time to network than now.
• An aligned team is an effective team. You certainly can’t become an Orange church without having an aligned team. And the truth is you can’t become an effective church without having an aligned team. So, when you come to Orange Conference you’ll be able to process what you’re learning about senior leadership and families with your entire team. As a result, you’ll be able to run faster in the same direction together.
• You speak to families every week. If you think about it, most of the people you speak to on a Sunday morning are part of a family. So, if you still think family ministry isn’t for you, think again. If most of the people you speak to on a Sunday morning are part of a family, and most of the people you seek to reach have some connection with family, why not get better at connecting with families? They’ll thank you for it.

It’s not too late to attend. If you want to register, click here. If you want more information on the senior leaders track click here and select the track from the dropdown menu. And if you’re a senior leader who has been to an Orange event before, leave your comments below.

If you’re like me, you’re already thinking about how to make the new year better than the current year. Been thinking about that for a while actually.

In fact, I’m using this week of holidays to get a few things moving. Today, I set up my bike trainer in the family room (now that the family Christmas celebrations are over), start outlining a new book and am going to tackle some family projects.

I also think about how I want to recalibrate my own relationship with God. Like any relationship, it can fall into a rut. If you’re not careful, what was once meaningful can easily become mechanical.

Or maybe you’re new to a relationship with God and you’re looking for a way to begin a relationship with him. I realize my tips are mostly around reading the Bible, but here’s what I find:

The more I engage the Scriptures, the more I engage God.

Here are five ways to kickstart your devotional life:

1. Find Your Best Personal Time. For me, it’s a no brainer. I’m always best in the morning. If I try to spend time with God at night, I fall asleep (it’s nothing personal, I also treat late night movies, friends and family the exact same way after 10:00 p.m.)  I love having time with God between 5 and 6 a.m.. I’m fully awake, engaged and present.

What’s your best personal time? Give it to God. You’ll grow.

Okay, I better come clean. I have a bias. I think everyone should become a morning person. I think there are inherent advantages you don’t get any other way. I started becoming a morning person in my early 30s and have never looked back. Think you can’t do it? Michael Hyatt shows you how.

2. Find the Medium that’s Best for You. I’m a reader, so a written Bible has always equaled awesome for me. But a few years ago I discovered that I had stopped reading my bible in a fresh way because I had been reading it for so many years. The words didn’t feel fresh anymore because they had become so familiar.

Around that time I had bought my first iPhone. I downloaded the YouVersion app and suddenly I found I was reading the Bible as though it was the first time. Every word looked new, even though I had read it before. And that meant my connection with God and the Bible was stronger. The only thing I changed was the media. Now I read it off my tablet with the same effect. Experiment with mediums. See which one works best for you. If you don’t like reading, get an audio Bible and listen.

3. Get a Translation You Can Understand. Many new Christians I talk to think there is something sacred to the King James Version of the Bible. There isn’t. It’s a beautiful translation that works powerfully for people with a solid command of 17th Century English, but that’s not me.

There are many great translations out there. I personally prefer the New Living Translation. The TNIV (Today’s New International Version), the Message and even the English Standard Version are used by many people effectively.

4. Use a Reading Plan. Random reading can get you started, but it often doesn’t keep you going. Like many others, I use a reading plan. Here’s a sampling of the hundreds available.

After a few years of trying different plans, I’m going back to the One Year Bible in January. Over the years, nothing has kept me more engaged with God on a daily basis than that. It’s about 15 minutes of reading a day (so it’s a commitment), but for me there has been nothing better. I love it because I simply look for the daily readings and they’re all laid out. No flipping pages all over the bible. If it’s July 6th, all the readings for the day are laid out. So whether you use a paper bible or an App like me, it’s all there for you. So easy to use. If reading through the Bible in a year is not something that will help you, there are a ton of other reading plans out there.

5. Take time to Reflect and Pray. A combination of prayer and some kind of reflection time is advised. Some people love to journal. I’ve tried to journal, but I’m not sure it’s me. (I might again in the new year). Other people reflect when they pray. I often do when I cycle. If you make your prayer time a time of asking God to help you apply what you’re learning and apply what you’ve read, you will never run out of things to pray about.

So, those are five things that help me kickstart my devotional time with God.

What has helped you? What would you add?

This post first appeared on Orange Parents blog.

Hi. My name is Carey, and I’m greedy. (This is the point where you all say, “Hi Carey.”)

Gosh, I hate to say it. I mean no one goes around and says they’re greedy, right? We might think other people are greedy (it’s just so easy to spot the sins of others, even from a distance), but it’s so difficult to see in ourselves.

But read this definition of greed and tell me if at least a piece of it doesn’t own you—or your kids.

Greed is an excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs or deserves, especially with respect to material wealth.

What makes this time of year difficult for greedy people is that we’re going to add to the pile of what we have that we arguably don’t need. There are things I want that I don’t need. And most of us are actually going to receive things that not only do we not need, but we do not want. In the incredibly affluent culture of North America, the problem of greed runs deep.

There’s a fine line we tread as parents in helping our kids celebrate Christmas. I still remember the almost delirious excitement I had as a child in being able to open gifts at Christmas. Let’s face it, what kid doesn’t love to get gifts at Christmas?

So, how do you make sure, as a parent, that you don’t inadvertently fuel greed in your family this Christmas?

I suppose there are a few options:

• Don’t give presents.
• Hand out coal.
• Read from Deuteronomy and pretend it’s February.

But those are almost certain recipes to kill some of the joy that comes with Christmas.

In my experience, the very best antidote to greed I’ve discovered is generosity. The more I give, the deeper I cut into the greed that lives inside of me.

The more I am willing to take giving to a sacrificial level (to the point where we are not doing things as a family because we are giving income away), the more I am reminded that this life is not about me or about my wants and desire. By far, generous giving is the best antidote to the greed that lives inside of me.

As Christmas approaches, ask yourself this question: what am I doing to stem greed in my family this Christmas? Maybe you could:

• Sponsor a family in need.
• Serve in a local mission over the holidays.
• Talk to your kids about how you as a family have decided to give first, save second, and live on the rest.
• Make sure giving is part of your full year—your weekly practice—rather than just a seasonal pursuit.
• Work with your kids to incorporate giving as part of their regular rhythm in 2012.

All I know is this: I’m greedy. And the best way I know to tackle that in my life is to give away a noticeable portion of the things that God has given me.

What helps you wrestle down greed in your life and in your family?

Carey is the lead and founding pastor of Connexus Community Church and has been serving in ministry since 1995. He is the primary communicator on Sunday mornings, and one of his key passions is to see people’s lives changed as they encounter Christ. He and his wife, Toni, live north of Barrie with their two sons. You’ll hear Carey say that his family outshines him in skiing, mountain biking, hiking, water skiing and more, but he does everything he can to keep up with them! Carey might also be one of the funniest people we know. Check out Carey’s personal blog at www.CareyNieuwhof.com

It’s after dinner, and your family sits down to relax. Everyone’s engaged in something.

Your daughter is Facebooking her friends. Your son is gaming, obsessively trying to get to the next level. You’re on your laptop and your spouse is texting a friend.

Welcome to 2011. Everyone is connecting with someone—just not with the people in the room.

So, what’s the deal with technology? Is it good? Bad? Indifferent? Inevitable? How is it impacting your family, and what can you do about it?

Here’s what we discovered. Only 35 percent of tweens and teens feel emotionally close to their dads, and only 59 percent feel emotionally close to their moms. Those were just two of the findings we uncovered a few months ago when Orange partnered with the Barna Group to commission an unprecedented survey of over 400 families—asking both parents and teens about their use of technology and its impact on relationships in the home.

Alarming as that statistic is, is it really Facebook that’s killing your family? The study suggests that maybe the answer is “no.” What if technology isn’t good or evil, but simply reveals and amplifies what’s already there?

Consider this: the primary technological activity parents and teens engage in today is watching television. And TV has been around for several generations. Maybe if there’s a relational disconnect happening, it’s not as recent as we might think. Generations of teens have had to deal with families whose chief activity is to watch a screen in a family room, with dads who disappeared into the garage alone to tinker with an engine, and with moms busy with careers, housework and book clubs with friends.

Relationships within families are worth fighting for. The 2011 State of the Church And Family provides insight into all of these trends and much more, and offers some strategies on how families can foster deep and meaningful relationships between parents and children.

Technology gives us incredible opportunities and connectedness, but like all things, needs to be managed so it becomes a servant of what matters most – our relationship with God and each other. Click here to get your copy of the report today. And watch for a book on the subject coming in the fall of 2011. We’re producing these resources because we’re passionate about helping families build strong relationships.

In the meantime, what are you learning about technology and relationship? How is it impacting your family for better? For worse?

Among all the things a leader deals with, great leaders manage the tension between hope and reality. Hope always focuses on what’s possible. Reality tends to look at what’s actual (which often isn’t all that pretty). The two can almost seem like enemies, but neither is far from the top of a strong leader’s mind.

I think most leaders instinctively drift toward or or the other, but not both. I personally lean toward hope, focusing on what’s possible. Other leaders will gravitate toward reality, determined to deal with the brutal facts. But great leadership understands you can never be far from either. You need to embrace both hope and reality, and the best leaders have learned to do this daily.

I’ve seen more than a few leaders only really engage either hope or reality. The hope dealers only talk about the future and even get defensive when anyone asks a numbers question or begins to ask questions about implementation. I’ve seen leaders who prefer reality get annoyed when someone in the room began to dream. They can’t look past the balance sheet, the obstacles or the opponents.

To only embrace one of the two factors is to miss out. Leaders who only deal in hope and sideline reality:
*Eventually stop resonating with most people because the vision of the future seems so divorced from the present.
*Rarely if ever are able to bring ‘numbers and data’ people on board. You need them to execute any plan.
*Set themselves up for disillusionment – because rarely does the future play out as optimistically as we think it should.
*Relegate much of their vision to being just a dream.

By contrast, leaders who only embrace reality and ignore hope:
*Eventually stop resonating with futurists and early majority change agents who are attracted to what’s next and what could be.
*Fail to gather much of a crowd because they don’t develop a vision of a preferred future that can rally people around a common cause.
*Set themselves up for potential cynicism and disillusionment. Seldom is the current reality better than a preferred future.
*Find it hard to make progress – because only talking about ‘what is’ can easily lead back to ‘what used to be’. In the absence of a preferred future, the preferred past looks like a better option.

If you’re a leader who drifts toward hope, one of the best things you can do is to begin to engage reality. It will amaze your critics and the people who believe your head is stuck in the clouds. Ironically, what you fear might be your undoing will enable you to rally a broader crowd.

If you tend to be on the reality side, embrace hope. I know, you think it’s unrealistic and until you deal with problem X nothing is going happen. But there will always be a problem X. And if all you’re doing is explaining to people what’s wrong, why would anyone follow you?

As a leader, do you tend toward hope or reality? How do they compete for your time and attention as a leader? How have you learned to hold hope and reality in tension?

The Orange Leaders blog is taking a break until January 3rd- we hope you enjoy time with friends and family– celebrating the hope that Jesus coming represents as we live and lead in this present reality. All blessings!

Carey Nieuwhof wrapped up the last tour with these thoughts about Family, captured by Orange leader, Ron Hughey. We’ve also included the recap video from Grand Rapids to get us pumped up for tomorrow’s Tour Stop in Phoenix.

Imagine the end
*We have less time than we realize but more influence than we realize
*Even in the teen years you are still the biggest influencer in your child’s life.
*Focus your priorities on what matters most. (What are the priorities and how do you convey them to parents)
*Who do you want to become instead of what do you want to be when you grow up.
*Also helps us know what to celebrate – not all about what you do

Grand Rapids Highlight from Orange on Vimeo.

Fight for the Heart
Communicate in a way that gives the relationship value. (Rule parents vs Relational parent or truth vs grace) ”Jesus came full of truth and grace”

Find The Rhythm
Rhythm controls reality

Make it Personal
First it has to be real for you

In retrospect, the thing that struck me the most was the notion of really having to have a strategy to reach parents and that the majority of parents would say that no one from the church has ever given them clear expectations. How do we present those expectations while at the same tome avoid presenting the “Stock Family Photo?” It seems like a tight rope.

What I will want to share the most with my senior pastor (and members of our birth to 18 team ) is the “State of the Church and Family Report” and some of the implications mentioned today. For instance the idea that having children is not bringing people back to church. I think that many churches (and parents) are operating under a false assumption here.

Over the last number of years I’ve had to work a rhythm of rest and refuelling into my life. It’s meant huge changes. In fact, we’ve programmed Connexus so that staff and volunteers are home most nights. I actually take my vacation now. I have work from my home Mondays and Fridays because I write best when I’m alone out of the office. I’m only good with people about 50% of my work week. Being home Monday means I can pour into staff and volunteers Tuesday – Thursday with enthusiasm. That might not be your rhythm, but it’s mine.

This principle is not a blank check for laziness. This isn’t about counting your 37.58 hours down the minute to make sure you’ve got what’s coming to you. Not at all. But it is about realizing that ministry happens deepest and most profoundly when you pursue God’s work using God’s ways and not your own. You end up accomplishing more in every sphere of your life.

When I started, I wanted to run this marathon like it was a sprint. I still sprint in seasons, but I’ve come squarely to terms with the truth that this is a marathon. A marathon God actually even intends us to enjoy. (Flickr image uploaded by wallyg)

What type of rest do you enjoy the most? What changes would you need to make to work it into your weekly rhythm?

I was terrible at this for years. Rest was for people who just couldn’t handle a real workload. If you went home at 4 p.m., it was because you really weren’t committed to the cause.

There was a strange justification that happened in the back of my mind that told me the harder I worked, the more pleased God would be with me. After all – I was doing his work. And if you were working for God, why wouldn’t you give it everything you had plus 30%?

People would tell me all the time: your pace is unsustainable. You’re going to burn out. I just ignored them. I thought I was stronger than that, and the strange thing is, for the most part, I was. I could sense burn out and pull back from the edge just in time. And for years I just ran in overdrive.

But I’ve come to realize some things:

Just because you don’t burn out, doesn’t mean you don’t miss out. I told my oldest son (who’s 18) the other day that if I could get one thing back in life it would be some of those hours when he was in elementary school. He’s heading off the university this fall, and we’ve had some great times together over the last few years (as we did when he was very young), but I can’t get his formative years back. God redeems time, but I’d love to get some of those hours back.

Rest is a gift. It’s also great strategy. We all know that God rested on the seventh day. But life was also designed with regular pauses scripted in. There was to be no work done once every seven days. And if you’ve ever read the Old Testament, you might realize God loves a party. There were regular holidays, festivals, and even mandated celebration in Old Testament life. For us A types, remember – God wants us to enjoy life. As the creators of our bodies and souls, he also realized that we function best when we’re rested and full of good things. Most of us realize that we’re not nearly as productive on hour 12 of a day as we are on hour one. Pay attention to that. Rest is also a strategy. We’re so much better at work when we’ve rested. (Flickr image by erixl)

In what ways are you tempted to cheat rest? Why do you think this is true of so many leaders?

I first got challenged with the trust-reversal idea when Reggie Joiner and I were writing our parenting book together. In one of the drafts, he introduced this idea that parents might stop thinking in terms of simply being able to trust their kids and start asking a different question: do we live in a way that our kids trust us? Are we consistent? Do we inspire confidence?

We can also change from asking if God is trustworthy in this or that situation and ask if we as leaders are worthy of his trust.

Look at this verse, “But not with my servant Moses. Of all my house, he is the one I trust.” (Numbers 12.7).

Trust is dependability – a deep confidence in someone. God seemed to be looking for servant leaders He could trust and depend on.

So maybe the question for those who want to live a life alive in God is this: Can God trust you?

I love these thoughts. They’re challenging me. And they’re great to kick off a new week.

Have you ever thought that kids are looking for parents and adults to trust? Or that God might be looking for leaders like you to trust with big things? If this is true, how might you do ministry or life differently this week? What other areas need a trust reversal?