by Jeff Shinabarger

The less I try to do everything, the more I value the abilities and gifts of the people around me. Just after returning from a sabbatical where my wife, Andre, and I spent considerable time choosing priorities and prioritizing family, I promised to speak at two different events on consecutive nights of the week. When I sheepishly reported my plan, she reminded me of our shared commitment.

I hate having to call someone back to change my answer, but knew it was the right thing to do. This is when I stumbled upon a significant truth. Every opportunity not right for me brings an opportunity for someone else. When I claim more than what I can handle, I limit the opportunities for another person in my community. In essence, when we choose to do what we ought to do, forsaking all else, we create opportunities and access for others.

When I declined the speaking opportunity, I asked if I could recommend a friend of mine who would be incredible for their gathering. This created access to a new opportunity for him. My “no” turned into someone else’s “yes.”

Have you ever stopped to think about how you have arrived where you are today? I guarantee you that someone gave you an opportunity. Someone believed in your abilities and gave you a platform to live out what it is that makes you breathe today. Don’t we all want to be part of a community that has the best interest of others at its heart?

The greatest love you can give a friend is to help him or her find and achieve their calling. Let me say it another way. My greatest responsibility as a friend is to help others discover what only they are made to do. I want to be involved in a community that does everything possible to help each other find the unique value that only they can contribute to the world. I want to be a part of a community that works together to create platforms for that talent. I want to do less, so my friends can do what only they can do.

When you think about your aspirations for your closest friends do you really want them to succeed? Are you willing to celebrate their victories the way you’d celebrate your own? Wouldn’t you love to join a community of people helping each other pursue their dreams, aspirations, and purposes?

It starts with you and it starts with me. As you walk through your day, think about the people you love. How can you use your influence to help them succeed? What access do you have that can further the calling of a friend? When you give your opportunities and energy to serve the calling of others, everyone wins.

Jeff Shinabarger is the author of More or Less: Choosing a Lifestyle of Excessive Generosity. He is a social entrepreneur, experience designer, cofounder of the Q event, and creative director at Catalyst. He is also the founder of Plywood People, an innovative community addressing social needs through creative services. He’s been featured in national media such as CNN, NPR, and Relevant Magazine and has been interviewed by the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and the Chicago Sun-Times, among others. He and his family live in East Atlanta Village.

Looking for a tool that will help the parents in your church engage in your children’s ministry? Suggest they download Orange’s Parent CUE App on their smartphone, available for iOS and Android.

What’s a CUE? It’s a prompt. A nudge to talk about God, faith, life or to just have fun together.

It’s a way to incorporate conversations about God and His big story into everyday moments—during mealtime, while playing a game outside, and in the car.

These CUEs will help parents do three things:

Connect to God’s story.
Uncover something about life.
Experience something together.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9 says: “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”

Orange’s Parent CUE App provides parents with simple cues throughout the week that remind them to pause and make the most of everyday moments. But here’s something important to remember—parents don’t have to do all of these cues.

They don’t have to do everything. How about just doing one more thing—not five more. It will make a huge difference in their lives and in the lives of their children.

Every month, this Parent CUE App will focus on one specific theme. Parents will receive prompts for videos, activities, discussion questions and more. These prompts will come in the form of “times” that are a part of everyday life. There’s even a section called ParentTime that’s filled with parent blogs, podcasts and more.

To make the most of the Parent CUE App, parents should leave push notifications on, and they will get daily prompts reminding them to connect with their child. Or, parents can set up a time when they open the app on a regular basis to take advantage of the consistently updated content.

If your church uses the First Look or 252 Basics curriculum, you’ll notice that the content in this app lines up with what the children are learning at church. It’s a great way to reinforce these great truths.

by Stacy Hodge

As I sip a warm Starbucks on a chilly morning, hear Christmas music playing in the background, and see all the decorations, I can’t help but get excited for the Christmas season! By this time, most people have already begun their shopping, and I bet someone in your family has an Apple device on their wish list. These are great devices that I have come to depend on daily for communication, at-my-fingertips information, and of course, entertainment. For children and students with special needs, these tools can be a key aid in their spiritual development. Let’s unwrap some apps that can be used in the church setting or by parents to help kids with learning differences grow in their faith.

Read and Share Bible
Free app; in-app purchase of each Bible story is $2.99 (Current sale: $.99-$2.99)
For younger learners, the Read and Share Bible app is wonderful. While there are in-app purchases, they are worth it and packed with extras. For example, included in the Christmas story, “Jesus is Born,” you get a narrated (and captioned!) illustrated story of Jesus’ birth, complete with questions and videos dispersed throughout the Scripture. You might recommend that participants’ families repeat and reinforce the same Bible lesson at home. Parents can also personalize the story by recording their own voices to take the place of the narrator’s voice. There are other extras, including picture puzzles, coloring pages, and a video of the story.

Glo Bible
Free app; in-app purchase of premium edition is available for $34.99
For older students (and even adults), the Glo Bible is a great app. It is jam-packed with media that helps visual learners jump into Scripture. The NIV Glo Bible is now free(!) and it includes a taste of the pictures, artwork, virtual tours, maps, and videos that the premium edition includes. The feature that I love the most about this app is how you can look up a Scripture, and as you’re reading you can see the supplemental media. With just a tap, all sorts of pictures and videos enhancing the selected Scripture are at your disposal. As an added bonus, the font size is adjustable with the capability of changing it to white text on a black background (read-accessibility for everyone!). This app is a must-have for teachers who have visual learners! (You could gift this app to your teachers as a Christmas-time “Thank you” to use as they study and utilize when they teach!)

Answers HD
$3.99
Answers HD is a simple, programmable app for communication. It comes loaded with a screen with two choices, “YES” and “NO.” Then, within the app, a teacher can program up to six different two-choice “favorite” pages, and also have up to six lesson “plans” that each have six two-choice pages. The choices resemble buttons, and can be customized using color, pictures and text. Then, a teacher can record themselves, voicing the choice on the buttons. The joy you see as a teacher after a student is able to successfully communicate is priceless!

Smule Auto Rap
Free
This last app is a fun way to encourage those who are verbal to speak up clearly. The older participants in our church’s special needs ministry LOVE this app. This tool has become our favorite way to learn each Sunday’s Bible verse. You open the app, choose one of the songs, and speak the verse. The app then takes your voice and sets it to a rap and plays it back for the class. It’s great because it’s a fun way to recite the verse, and then as it plays back, everyone hears the verse another two or three times. (Repetition!) Everyone anxiously awaits their turn to recite the verse now.

I hope that by unwrapping these apps your ministry can find new ways to spur families on to focus on Christ during this Christmas season as well as ease communication and increase understanding for your members with special needs. Merry Christmas to all!

Stacy Hodge is the minister to special needs at Hunters Glen Baptist Church in Plano, Texas, where she has served since the CARE Ministry’s beginning in June of 2008. Hunters Glen is a church with just over 1,100 active members, and in four years God has grown the ministry to welcome an average of 25 children, students, and adults with special needs on Sunday mornings. HGBC also welcomes 10 adults from a local day-habilitation program on to their campus twice a week for Bible study. In order to minister to the entire family, the CARE Ministry offers sibling workshops, a mother’s group, a father’s group, family fellowships, and inclusion within existing church ministries such as Disciple Now and Vacation Bible School. Stacy serves alongside her 30 amazing volunteers, which make this ministry happen!

This past summer was not an easy one for me as a parent. Although my children are all competent young adults, the “mothering” part of me still wants to shelter and protect. That’s not easy to do when your kids are spread across the country—literally. Our oldest just moved to San Diego, our middle child interned in New York City for the summer (and already plans on moving back after graduation this December), and our youngest was smack-dab in the middle of the country in the great state of Texas. A friend of ours, who also has kids spread across the country, came up to me after church one Sunday and asked how I was handling the kids being gone. As I thought about it for a moment, I realized I actually had a great peace about them being gone. Sure, I missed them immensely and I knew they were making some tough real-life decisions as they ventured out on their own, but I was also incredibly proud of their adventurous spirits and the amazing adults they were becoming. My friend then said, “You did good—you gave them exactly what they needed to fly on their own.”

In Chapters 7 and 8 of Parenting Beyond Your Capacity, we’ll take a look at the final Family Value—Making It Personal, and then in our final chapter recap what our ultimate goal is as parents—letting go.

A Living Example
I’ve made plenty of mistakes as a parent and I can’t always say that I set the best example for my kids. But one thing I have done—owned it when I’ve messed up. I’ve lived out my faith—even when it wasn’t easy to do so (and my kids knew it wasn’t easy). Last week, my youngest was struggling at school. Before I knew she would wake up, I texted her a Bible verse that I thought might help her face her difficult day ahead. She called me when she woke up and thanked me for always encouraging her when she was struggling with Scripture and faith statements. Later that day, she tweeted that same verse to a friend who needed encouragement. It was a great testament to see her do as I had been doing her whole life.

Chapter 7 talks about making it personal—your kids need to see and experience in you the things that you want them to become. Your kids need to see you:

• Struggle with answers
• Face your weaknesses
• Deal with real problems
• Admit when you’re wrong
• Fight for your marriage
• Resolve personal conflict

Into the Real World
As I mentioned earlier, launching our kids into the real world isn’t necessarily easy, but if we’ve given them exactly what they need, it’s an exciting adventure. While each of our kids have very different interests, talents, and career paths, they all share one thing in common—a desire to make a difference in a hurting world. Sometimes as a parent, it’s a bit scary to watch your kids launch on their own. But it brings a smile and a full heart to know that they’ve all chosen to go where they are led as they find where they fit in God’s big story.

Think On This
How do your children see and experience you growing in your relationship with God? In what ways do your kids see you authentically struggle and do you model the resolve in those struggles for them as well? How are you preparing your kids to experience the adventure found in being part of God’s big story?

There have been seasons in our house where it’s felt more like a battlefield than a home. Tempers flare and pride takes front and center, leaving someone wounded in the end. Our family isn’t perfect. But I have learned that in the heat of the battle, it is better served for us as parents to set aside our tempers and pride and take to heart exactly what we’re fighting for. Author Carey Nieuwhof says it well in chapter 5, “When you fight with people, relationships are jeopardized. When you fight for people, relationships are prioritized,” [p. 101]. As parents, my husband and I truly “like” being with our kids and we ultimately don’t want anything to stand in the way of our relationship with them or their relationship with God. When we focus on their hearts and not on our pride, the battle becomes one that’s well worth fighting for.

In chapters 5 and 6 of Parenting Beyond Your Capacity, we’ll explore family values 3 and 4—“Fighting for the Heart” and “Create a Rhythm.” These chapters give us a glimpse of how important relationship is as we parent our children. Here are some of the highlights from each of these chapters:

Worth Fighting For
If you’re a parent, it’s guaranteed that you will face some battles with your kids. It’s easy for parents to get caught up in winning and forcing the correct behavior, but something can easily be lost in the process—your child’s heart. In chapter 5 it says, “Every family fights, but there is a world of difference between when you fight with someone and when you fight for someone,” [p. 101]. Implement a new rule that a trusted relationship between parent and child is more important than rules. Communicate in a way that demonstrates to your child that you value the relationship—the one they have with you as a parent and the one they have with God. Be a person that your child can trust—this is a trait that’s more important for their growth than how trustworthy they are. In addition, when we as parents are loving God the right way, it strengthens and feeds our desire to love our children the right way. God’s love is far more trustworthy and powerful than even our love as parents.

They Got Rhythm
When our kids were growing up, our schedules were crazy. Sports, dance classes, school events—there were many nights of grabbing dinner at Chick-fil-A on the way to a game or sitting down at the dinner table around 9 p.m. Despite the chaotic schedule, as parents we made sure that dinner (even if it was on-the-go or a late night meal) was a time that we sat down, ate, and talked with our kids. And all of that time in the car going to and from practices, school, and games? My kids would all say that some of the best, most intimate conversation took place on those 20-minute drives around town.

As parents, we need to use the time we have—even if it’s rushing in the car or late at night—as a time to have conversations about life and faith. It’s a rhythm; a pattern of familiar conversation and actions that speaks to the heart of our kids. For our family, that time in the car was when some of our deepest conversations about faith happened—it was uninterrupted, one-on-one time.

The Orange Factor suggests four specific times when families can leverage the moment to build faith in their children. They are:

• Eating meals together
• Walking or traveling together
• Tucking children into bed
• Getting up in the morning

Consider how you can make these every day moments times of quality and rhythm for your children.

Think On This
Consider the last battle or disagreement you had with one of your children—were you fighting with them or for them? How can you make battling for your child’s heart, for the relationship, more of a priority when you disagree? What are the rhythms in your family? How can you better leverage this time to have conversations and experiences with your children about faith?

When each of our kids turned 16, their birthday gift was a mission trip of their choice. It’s proved to be a great experience for each of our children as they experienced serving alongside both peers and adults. While each met amazing adults who continue to speak into their lives today, our youngest daughter, Megan, met a woman, Robin, who was incredibly influential at a time when our daughter was at a bit of a crossroads. Robin encouraged and challenged Megan both spiritually and intellectually—she met her in a place where her dad and I couldn’t at that time in her life. Today, Megan is across the country attending college and Robin is, thankfully, just a couple of hours away, and continuing to be someone that Megan can rely on guidance from when she’s struggling and rejoicing along life’s journey.

In chapters three and four of Parenting Beyond Your Capacity, authors Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof begin to explore five values that can help parents win at home. Let’s take a look at the first two: Widen the Circle and Imagine the End.

Don’t Fly Solo
So often parents feel like the entire state of their child’s future rests on how they pull off their job as mom or dad. Parents need to move away from the “me” mentality and embrace the “we” approach to parenting. Community is important for children; they need family to give them unconditional love and acceptance and a tribe to provide a sense of belonging and significance. Robin and other adults that were in Uganda with my daughter, Megan, showered her with a sense of mission and significance that has helped shape her future and her faith. Widen your child’s circle and leverage the influence of others with these steps:

• Look for a church that values community: A place that values authentic community and can be a strategic voice that speaks into your child’s life.
• Work with other leaders to find opportunities for your kids to serve: One of the best things we’ve ever done as parents is to send our kids out to serve with other adults in our community and world. It gives others a chance to speak to their hearts.
• Search for mentors in your community: Who are others such as a coach or teacher who might be a significant influence in your child’s life? Or how can you be a mentor in a child’s life? I mentor several high school students at our local school in their independent projects to serve homeless teens and to raise awareness about human trafficking. I believe they give me as much, if not more, than I give them!

What Matters Most
In the heat of the game, it’s often hard to focus on what the goal is. You can get so wrapped up in the day-to-day life of parenting with its many highs and lows, it’s easy to brush aside or forget what really matters in the end. For example, my middle daughter is 21 years old and battling with some choices in life. For a moment, I got completely caught up in the battle and just wanted to win. But it’s not about winning or losing (even though in the moment, it felt like it was). I needed to regroup and remember that what matters most is her relationship with God. So, I had to change my focus and provide her with the tools and encouragement that point her to Jesus. As parents, we need to remember that it’s not about the things or moments that will one day fade away, we need to build in our kids something real, valuable and everlasting.

Think On This
Who are the influential people in your children’s lives? As leaders, how are you providing and building leaders in your ministry who can be part of a child’s influential circle? What does your child’s relationship with God look like today? How are you leveraging your influence to point your child or other children toward a relationship with Jesus?

It seems like everyone is talking about the heat in the southeast. Twitpics of iPhone weather apps reporting 105-degree heat in Atlanta abound. Well, how do we at Orange stay cool? With an Orange Creamsicle Smoothie!

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup crushed ice
• 1/2 cup orange juice pulp (from ~3 oranges) or one whole peeled orange, pulled apart *
• 1 cup coconut milk (or milk of your choice)
• 1 scoop organic vanilla protein powder
• 1/4 tsp. pure vanilla extract
• 1/4 tsp. honey (optional for a sweeter taste)

*good source of fiber

Directions

Place all ingredients in blender and blend until smooth.

Nutrition Facts

Serving Size: 16 oz.

• Calories: 303
• Total Fat: 6 g
• Saturated Fat: 0 g
• Cholesterol: 0 mg
• Sodium: 219 mg
• Total Carbohydrate: 25 g
• Dietary Fiber: 3 g
• Sugars: 13 g
• Protein: 25 g

For this and other fiberlicious recipes, visit www.fortheloveoffiber.com.

This recipe was found: http://www.fitsugar.com/Healthy-Orange-Julius-Recipe-23752212

For me and the way I am wired, leading MarriedPeople can be very challenging. And despite the fact that I take pretty good care of myself, my body has been letting me know that I am stressing more than I think—grinding my teeth is just one example. Yesterday, I had an hour in the car and I talked to God about the situation. Bottom line I said, “God, please help me to know how safe I am with You.”

Later in the afternoon around 2:30, I went out on the trampoline with my kids. Despite the fact it’s February, the weather was perfect.

We jumped and laughed and hid from the hawks flying overhead. I was enjoying myself. I was enjoying my kids. I was enjoying the weather. It felt so good. Then a moment happened that I hope I never forget.

The jumping stopped and we were all on our backs looking up. My nine-year-old son, Judson, who is not affectionate to the point of concerning his mom and me, laid on top of me with his head in my neck and his body “Koala Bear-ed” into mine. I held him close but not hard. He typically tries to squirm or get out of any hug that feels tight. But in that moment that lasted probably a little over a minute, he was totally relaxed and tucked neatly into me. I had him just where I wanted him.

My big boy was letting me hold him. In that moment, God gave me exactly what I asked of Him, to know I am safe with Him. As Judson’s father, I loved that he trusted me enough to hold him. I loved that nothing had to be said. There was a peace and safety between a dad and his son that was just right. And in that moment without anything being said, I knew I was safe with God. He loves to and is so able to hold me; I just have to let him.

So many times, I squirm, worry, stress, grind my teeth while I am doing “God’s work.” I think God thinks about me the way I think about Judson, “Just let me hold you, you are safe, I’ve got this. I’ve got you. I love you, my boy.”

God help me to become a man in my world by becoming a child in Yours.

How do you let God hold you amidst the chaos of you’re His world?

From 2001-2010, Ted Lowe worked as the director of MarriedLife at North Point Community Church. His wife Nancie played a huge role in hosting and planning MarriedLife programs at North Point. It was during their time at North Point that they decided they not only wanted to help the married people at North Point, but married people at churches all over the world. So, in partnership with Orange and church leaders everywhere, they are working fast and furiously to—HELP CHURCHES HELP MARRIAGES. They have three children: Chapman, Judson, and Teddie, and live in Cumming, Georgia. You can follow him on Twitter and Facebook.

Have you heard the news? Pantone has declared 2012 the year of orange! More specifically, Tangerine Tango, orange with a reddish tint. We think that’s about right. Check out the stories here:

Washington Post

Today Style

Smart Money

Pantone

In a recent Orange staff meeting, Reggie Joiner asked a few of us to share the names and descriptions of apps we are currently using at home and in work. Our picks are:

• Flipboard creates a personalized magazine out of everything being shared with you, from Instagram photos and Facebook updates to Tumblr posts and articles from your favorite publications. Fill Flipboard with the things you like to read, from the smallest blogs to publications like Rolling Stone or Vanity Fair, and use Instapaper or Read It Later to save articles to read later. Connect Flipboard to all your social networks, and you’ll have a single place to enjoy, browse, comment on and share all the news, photos and updates that matter to you.

• Pulse News is an application that makes reading news fun and engaging. Pulse takes your favorite websites and transforms them into a colorful and interactive mosaic. Tap on an article to see a clean and elegant view of the news story. Save stories for reading later across all platforms or sync them with Instapaper, Read it Later and Evernote. Sharing a story via Facebook, Twitter and email is as easy as two taps.

• iAllowance puts piggy banks and paper money behind you! iAllowance is the only thing you need to manage your child’s finances and teach him or her about saving and spending money. Whether you want to set up a weekly allowance or pay out a special reward, iAllowance handles everything for you with an eye-pleasing and easy-to-use interface.

• Wunderlist is a free cloud-sync task manager, where lists can be shared with friends and colleagues. The Wunderlist mobile app for iPhone and iPod Touch boosts productivity by organizing to-do lists on the go and synchronizes them with a free Wunderlist account. View and modify your tasks on Windows, Mac, Linux, iPad, Android and the Web. Hundreds of thousands of people worldwide use Wunderlist every day.