by Perry Noble

Charisse, my five-year-old little girl, looked up at me with really big eyes just the other day and informed me that I was going to need to start putting the toilet seat down because she had recently went to the bathroom and “fell in!” (Lots of men have had this same conversation with their wife/daughters!)  It brought FIVE things to mind . . .

1. When we get in a hurry as leaders we tend to not pay attention to how our decisions might impact others. (If we are going to lead like Jesus we MUST be way more concerned about others than we are ourselves!)
2. If a leader will take a little extra time and make sure the details are covered it makes it a lot easier for those who are following him/her. (A person who does not take a little time now will have to take a lot of time later repairing the damage from the “mess”—I can promise you she will not forget “falling in!”)
3. Laziness as a leader will often result in unfortunate circumstances for those who follow. (I can promise she was not happy about “falling in!”)
4. When unfortunate circumstances take place (falling in the toilet) a good leader will always ask “what could I have done differently in that situation” (put the lid down), instead of blaming someone else for the mess. (Sure, I could have told her to make sure the lid was down. The reality is that if I had taken the extra time and did what a good leader/father should have done, then she would not have gone for a swim!)
5. Two of the MOST POWERFUL WORDS for a leader to say are, “I’m sorry,” when they are confronted with a careless mistake that they made rather than trying to rationalize the situation.

BELIEVE ME. From now on, I am going to make sure the lid is down! (And every woman out there said, “Amen!”)

Perry Noble is the founding and senior pastor of NewSpring Church, which has campuses in Anderson, Columbia, Florence, and Greenville, South Carolina. At 11 years old, the church averages over 10,000 people across all campuses. Perry is a gifted communicator and teacher, convicted about speaking the truth as plainly as possible. God has given him a vision and a passion for helping people meet Jesus, and each week he shares God’s Word and its practical application in our daily lives. Perry, his wife, Lucretia, and their daughter, Charisse, live in Anderson, South Carolina.

by Billy Phenix

I grew up in a traditional church, and rode standard conveyor belt into the youth group. Like many of us, my early years in the group included a revolving door of youth pastors, a lot of dodge ball, and semi-controlled chaos. Amid that chaos, my buddies and I slowly slid into the role of the arm-crossed, hard-to-engage, “this is dumb,” cut-ups that sat on the back row of any youth ministry event. In short, we were “too cool for (Sunday) school.” Disengaged and calloused, we slowly started resenting anything church-related (which is ironic, since I now pastor a church).

Enter Jim.

Jim was hired as the new youth pastor. He was young, idealistic, and, above all, passionate about connecting kids to Jesus. He was in seminary—a fact I held against him. He had an electric smile and explosive laugh. He drove a clunky red truck that didn’t start consistently and wore camouflage pants a lot. I didn’t expect much from Jim. That was until one Sunday evening when Jim slid into the back row, smiled, and whispered, “Follow me, and don’t let people see you sneak out.” Sneaking out is something we knew.

Suddenly, Jim had our attention.

Quickly, Jim led us, SWAT-team style, to the darkened upper halls of the church, through a small access door in the music pastor’s office, and into the church attic. We were confused, but totally into it. Next, he led us onto a long, dark plankway that ran the length of the sanctuary. At one point Jim looked back, smirked, and said, “don’t step off the side or you’ll fall through the ceiling and onto the pews.” (In retrospect, I think there was adequate lighting available in the attic, but Jim left them turned off to boost the thrill factor for us.)

We were wide-eyed.

A few minutes later, Jim led us up a metal ladder inside the base of the steeple. At the top, there was a small platform at the narrow peak that was barely big enough for us all to sit. Still, we gathered there, shook off the cobwebs, and took turns peering out the open steeple-top window that looked out over our community. It was awesome. Over the next half hour, we contemplated the deeper things that 15-year-olds sitting at the top of a steeple would discuss: If falling off would kill you; who could spit off the steeple the farthest; and what would happen if lightening struck us at that moment. Did I mention that it was awesome?

Finally, after a pause, Jim said, “So—how’s life for you guys?”

And, from there, it began.

That singular experience began a multi-year relationship with Jim and an eventual acceptance of Jesus as my Savior (along with many other trips to the steeple top, that is, until the church administration got wise and changed the lock).

In the couple of years I sat under Jim’s leadership, he taught hundreds of lessons about Jesus and the Bible. They shaped me, but not as much as the lesson that God taught me about Jesus THROUGH Jim.

Today, you’ll hear me say that Jim was the one that led me to Christ. His example was a primary reason that I entered the ministry. To this day, there are ministry practices that I still attach to the memory of Jim’s influence on me.

Jim’s journey to the steeple top with us is hardly formulaic for life change (and, actually, it’s not even recommended if you care about liability or job security), but that’s not my point. The point is that Jim knew that he had a message that would change lives. It was the gospel message of Jesus Christ. He also knew that the snotty kids in the back weren’t going to be moved by his seminary education, a cheeky puppet show, or a hotdog and some dodge ball. We weren’t going to come to Jim, so he came to us on the back row. HE worked to find us. That, in itself, told us that Jim cared. Jim gave us an experience and, in doing so, we gave him a platform to speak into our lives.

It was risky, edgy, and a just little dangerous—just like Jesus.

To this day, when I see a church with a big white steeple I think, “I wonder how far I could spit from there.” Then I think of Jim and how grateful I am that someone took the time to connect with a punk kid in the back row and, in doing so, changed my eternity.

Who impacted you the most when you were a kid? What did they do that was so impactful? How are you doing the same today?

Billy Phenix is the campus pastor of Buckhead Church. He was on the initial team that launched this first, off-site campus of North Point Ministries in 2001. In this role, Billy leads the staff of Buckhead Church and oversees all aspects of its operations. Previous to his role as campus pastor, he served in a variety of areas in NPM, including singles, students, and children’s ministries as well as Starting Point.

Prior to joining NPM in 2000, Billy worked in full-time student ministry and as a corporate architect for Chick-fil-A, Inc. Billy is an Atlanta native, Georgia Tech grad, and currently lives in East Cobb with his wife, Joy, and their children, Ellie and Josh.

Follow Billy on Twitter: @billyphenix

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a church where people from different generations had a deep-seated desire to be around each other because they valued the differences of the others? Wouldn’t it be great to have older adults that actually embraced their role of discipleship? And, wouldn’t it be amazing to have a bunch of younger people that felt like they belonged in the overall church?

We all would answer these positively. Or, at least, I hope so. But most of us have experienced the difficulties in creating such an environment.

When we talk about a solution to the relational chasms between generations we often talk about mentorship. We think about the practicalities of who we can approach, how to approach them and typically how to get the most amount of people involved—immediately. We dream of the connections to be made and the transformation stories to be told.

But, if I may, I would suggest we ought to be talking about creating culture instead.

Because we too often jump to an eHarmony-for-Mentors approach where masses of people are lured into a programming of relationship, we inevitably miss the creating of culture. Out of a desire to mass-produce, we get both potential mentors and mentees to sign up and in much excitement we begin connecting the dots. If you’ve tried this approach then you know that it might look good initially, but most of these connections don’t last. This can be awkward and cold at best. And, the reality is, at its worst this approach can end up crushing the potential of cultivating the culture we all long for.

Creating culture requires paying the price of time—and much of it. It requires patience and a posture that values individual steps as markers of success. And possibly at times, a posture that rejects the tendency to force mass production. This is hard for us Americans. So, here are a few things we can do to connect people in more sustainable and culture-shaping ways:

1. Begin by focusing on those in your church you already know have a heart for people of different generations.
2. Find an older adult that is relaxed, committed to Scripture and is a good listener. Then, find younger people that are in a place where they could use someone else’s wisdom in a particular area of their life. Maybe even begin with a vocational interest.
3. Intentionally, but personally, connect these two individuals for one cup of coffee or lunch.
4. Follow up with both individually, afterward, to see if they connected with each other. If so, encourage them to get together again. If not, talk positively about what they did learn and then look for another potential connection for them.

Taking it one step at a time like this is the starting point of creating culture. A culture cannot be created overnight. It takes time. Time is a big price to pay, but it’s always worth it when there are connections made and those individuals begin talking about it with others they know. When this happens, the snowball just gets bigger.

Chuck Bomar is part of the creative team for XP3 College (www.xp3college.org), and the author of several books, including his latest, Worlds Apart: Understanding the Mindset and Values of 18-25 Year Olds.

by Dan Reiland

The future depends on you. If you are a young leader, I’m writing to you. I serve as the executive pastor at 12Stone^® Church. What I do affects the future, but you are the future. Next to Jesus (and really cool guitars), my passion is developing leaders, especially the Next Gen! My job is to change the world by coaching and guiding young leaders like you. I love my job! There is so much I could say, but for a short post, let me offer a few “bits and pieces” that will be of value to you along the way.

Don’t rush it.
Many young leaders I coach want to rise in responsibility faster than makes sense. You’ll get hurt that way.  You’re smart and you’re good. Okay. You have new ideas and dreams. Good. You also have time. Soak in the experience and learn deep. Think stuff through. Practice leadership—make mistakes and try again. If you lead well, I promise you will move forward in your influence. Don’t try to microwave your development. Lean into getting better, not rising higher.

Enjoy the coffee.
Have you ever met someone who is drinking a $4.00 cup of specialty coffee but doesn’t seem to enjoy one sip of it? They drink it, I imagine, because it’s in their hand. Life is short. It doesn’t seem that way yet, but you’ll blink and you will be celebrating your 50th birthday. You have dreams and drive. That’s great. Don’t let anyone take that from you. But drink in the depth of the moment. Enjoy meaningful relationships. Help others. Laugh much and be yourself.

Disagree but don’t disrespect.
This can be difficult for young leaders who are sharp and strong. It’s in you to challenge the system. Which really means, challenge the leaders above you. You have ideas, and some are really good ones. Keep thinking and speak up, but do it with respect. Those above you are there for a reason, even if you don’t see it at the moment. One day it will be your turn and you will want the same respect from those you lead.

Pay now, play later.
You must work smart and hard! You have the energy to dig deep and learn much. Don’t look for short cuts, pay the price and do what others won’t do. Don’t look for the biggest salary—look for the best mentor. We all need someone to believe and invest in us. Trade parties for progress. Think long term.

Don’t give up. Leadership is a long road. Take it one step at a time.

Dan Reiland serves as the executive pastor at 12Stone^® Church, near Atlanta, Georgia. Dan loves the local church and has coached church leaders for more than 15 years. See Dan’s leadership writings at www.DanReiland.com. Dan is also the author of Amplified Leadership, available January 2012.

by Abbie Smith

In a random coffee shop on a random day recently, I asked 10 people what came to mind when I said the word mentor. Answers ranged from “my dad” and “a man in my AA group,” to work-related responses and even a 20-minute conversation about “a woman in grade school who changed my life.”

What can I conclude from these responses, I wondered? Well, I could at least say that “mentor” means different things to different people. Had I surveyed 10 people at my church one Sunday morning, I can only guess that I‘d get radically different responses. Or had I conducted this random questioning in Seattle, Washington, as opposed to Savannah, Georgia, I’d likely receive an entirely different batch of answers.

Another conclusion seemed to be that mentoring can look a lot of different ways—which is refreshing for we who can get overwhelmed by expectations of knowledge, or “coolness,” etc. For some, mentoring means a scheduled, one-on-one meeting, whereby one person intentionally mentors. (Webster defines this as: (n) “acting as a mentor to somebody, especially a junior colleague.”) For others, mentoring may look less orderly or occur less frequently. Maybe it involves taking a youngster to a sporting event, inviting someone from your neighborhood over for coffee, or signing up for a mentoring program in your area.

Finally, I was reminded that even from a simple coffee-shop survey, the benefits and life-altering potentials of mentoring, for both mentor and the mentee, are endless.

Where do I begin mentoring?

Simply put, mentoring means offering your life experience for the sake of another’s growth. Mentoring has been around for thousands of years. Paul may not have used the word mentor in his letter to the Romans, but he sure painted for us an admirable picture in his letter: “For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you—that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine,” (Romans 1:11-12 ESV).

There are many ways to mentor, and XP3 College makes an intentional effort to equip you well, while leaving room for your unique creativity. Here are five mentoring scenarios that have inspired me lately, and hopefully will do the same for you!

1) Two guys meeting over a weekly cup of coffee at 6:30 a.m.

2) A single woman who owns a home and rents it out to college-age girls. The woman believes that she has been granted this opportunity to share what it looks like to pursue holiness and offer her household unto God, even as a single.

3) Mentoring may be easiest when the proximity is close, but that scenario isn’t always the case. A recent man I met plans monthly phone meetings with guys he mentors (some of whom he’s mentored for over 11 years).

4) This seemed like a rare, but noteworthy situation. A mentor group of guys meets twice a week—once for the purpose of Bible study and prayer, and the other for living life and building community. One man leads the group and the guys range in age from 19 to 25.

5) A mom of four kids carves out breaks in her week to invite girls over to cook, or chat while the kids play. (Obviously, one has to know his/her boundaries—there will be seasons of life that do not afford for one to invest as liberally as another season might.)

Chances are good that you’re already mentoring someone, to some degree, in your life. Why not take that relationship a few degrees deeper, by embarking on something that could change one’s life forever. You may even change your own life in the process!

We at XP3 College have recently released a series of Conversation Guides to make mentoring accessible to the masses—especially in the Church. It’s a resource specifically created for college-age people, mentored by adults, for the purpose of mutual growth and transformation in their respective relationships with God.

We believe that between the crucial ages of 18-25, individuals need individualized attention, beyond social gatherings, sermons or 1,000 friends in a given social media account. College-age people need adults walking alongside their lives for the simple, and yet profound, purpose of affirming their existence and encouraging their next steps into adulthood.

If you’re interested in mentoring a college-age person, XP3 College can equip you to do so. If you’re interested in other age stages, we’re happy to request resources, or offer alternative ideas (the below list should offer you some starting points).

For more information to equip you for mentoring a college-age person, check out www.xp3college.org.

Abbie Smith is a co-author of The Slow Fade and part of the XP3 College team.

For the first time that I can recall, regularly scheduled network television was interrupted last night to bring news of the passing of a businessman. Not a political figure. Not a pop star. Not a humanitarian.

But Steve Jobs was much more than a businessman. In fact, writers, and newscasters search for words to describe him—visionary, leader, genius, talented, creative, inventor, revolutionary and perfectionist. One could even say that Steve Jobs was a game-changer. There’s no doubt that whatever hardware you are using to read this post contains some sort of technology that either was invented, imagined or influenced by Steve Jobs. He not only changed technology, he changed our lifestyle.

It makes me think about what I’m doing in my life with the game-changing moments that present themselves. Am I using my life positively to be a game-changer for someone else, or to create game-changing events, atmospheres, ideas and relationships? It’s something to think about.

Following are some links to various articles and videos on Steve Jobs. Share your thoughts in the comments.

Apple’s Tribute

Steve Jobs: Biography

Steve Jobs’ profile and collection of articles, Forbes.com

Happier Days: Steve Jobs Goofing off with Photo Booth Back in 2005

Next month, Simon & Schuster will release Jobs’ biography. You can preorder a copy here, through Amazon.

One of the biggest stories and biggest business deals in the past 15 years has to be the announcement this past Sunday that AT&T plans to buy T-Mobile USA for $39 Billion. Yes, $39 Billion is a lot of money, and there has to be a strategy behind this type of decision. We must be able to look at this decision and learn from it. Whether our reaction is “YES!” or “NOOOOOOO!!!!” the information that we take from this decision needs to be examined.

Believe it or not, I believe some of the same principles that are found in the Orange Strategy can be found in this huge deal. What are the principles I see in both?

1. Combining two influences is greater than two individual influences.
-Orange combines the influence of the home and the Church.
-AT&T combined the influence of their current towers with the towers of T-Mobile.

2. Refine the Message
-Orange is always updating lessons, websites, conferences and anything else that we do for that matter.
-AT&T needed to update its image. They could not simply hope to build enough infrastructure or market better. Their message had to go to the core or their problem. Even if they had to overpay, the message had to be sent that they believe in their customers.

3. Integrate Strategy
-Orange sees this as aligning church leaders and parents to lead with the same end in mind.
-AT&T sees this as integrating calls, 3G, 4G, and all other data that could be coming in the future. The end in mind here is all about data going to mobile devices.

4. Utilize Influence
-Orange sees this as creating consistent opportunities for students to experience personal ministry.
-AT&T has to see this as creating consistent opportunities to make calls whether you are in San Fransisco or New York, which is where they have huge issues. These two cities just happen to have a huge influence, as well, on all things technology in the U.S.

5. Elevate Community
-Orange sees this as connecting everyone to a caring leader and a consistent group of peers.
-AT&T of course wants to connect everyone to their network and make the most money. They will do this by elevating every community in the U.S.

Now these are just some of the similarities that I see in Orange and in the AT&T deal. I also see a lot of similarities between this deal and what needs to happen at a lot of churches across the U.S. What do I mean?

1. Students, Children, Preschool and Senior Leadership need to look at doing a merger in their own church that will increase their power to reach the next generation.

2. Some churches need to do an infrastructure overhaul. They need to look at their systems and see what needs to be improved in a way that is drastic.

3. This process of AT&T taking over T-Mobile is going to take at least a year and go through a ton of meetings. Change is not an easy process and it will take your church a long time and a lot of meetings to get on the same page.

4. This deal is a global effort, even though its effects will mostly be felt in the U.S. Churches need to think globally as well as locally. Even if most of your efforts may be felt in your community, don’t forget about the global initiative to which we’ve all been called.

5. Some people hate this decision and others love it. The same will be true when your church tries anything new. Don’t listen to your greatest fans or your greatest critics.

This is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the similarities that I see. What are some that you see? Do you think it is going to be a good thing that AT&T bought T-Mobile? We want to hear your opinion.

So did you know that by signing up for Orange, YOU are providing jobs for real people that are trying to make a better life for their families? And if you are in the Charlotte, North Carolina, area these people might just be in your backyard.

This year, we have partnered with an incredible organization called Plywood People to create the conference bags for each attendee. Plywood as joined forces with a group of refugees in North Carolina to take used billboards and turn them into your conference bags. We’re using part of your conference fee to pay them a fair wage for their product and services, and they’re providing jobs and E.S.L. classes to this incredible group of survivors.

Two weeks ago, our own Angie Bogen took a trip with Jeff Shinabarger (founder of Plywood People) up to Charlotte to check on the progress of this project and meet the people who are working to make these bags for YOU! Check out this short video of Jeff talking with one of the women in the project (the audio is very difficult to hear, but Jeff does a great job highlighting the key points) then browse through Angie’s photographs below.

Wednesdays this month on Orange Leaders we will be discussing one of the top 100 business books of all time! When the Heath brothers co-wrote “Made to Stick– why some ideas survive and others die”, it stayed on the Business Week Bestseller list for 2 whole years until they retired it to give some other books a shot. It’s a classic for anyone trying to communicate something important and hoping the idea will bring about lasting change. And that’s most of us!

I’m going to share with you some key things to know about this successful book in a template that we use with the 2 books we review each month in our premium leadership curriculum, YouLead. We cover one book focusing more on personal development and another one aimed at professional or ministry development.

About the Authors
Chip Heath now works at the Graduate School of Business at Stanford while his brother Dan works at Duke University’s CASE center, supporting social entrepreneurs. Previously Dan was a researcher and case writer for Harvard’s Business School.

If that wasn’t enough to convince you that these guys know their stuff, Chip and Dan have consulted with many organizations on how to apply the principles in Made to Stick including companies like Nike, Microsoft, Ideo, Macy’s and the American Heart Association.

Interesting Fact
Did you know that when a research team looked at a group of top, award-winning ads– 200 of them– they discovered something that might surprise you. 89% (most) of these popular ads could all be easily grouped into 6 basic categories or similar approaches. They had more in common than anyone would have guessed! In fact, templates were made so others could learn from and even copy some of what made these ads so successful.

The authors summarized that, “The highly creative ads were more predictable than the uncreative ones.” And then they quoted Tolstoy as saying, “All happy families resemble each other, but each unhappy family is unhappy in it’s own way.”

Check back each Wednesday this month as we talk about other idea success stories and what we can do to make our own messages stick better! To read along, order your copy of this amazing book here.

Thanks to Chad Swanzy who came to the Orange Tour in Dallas and took these notes from the afternoon breakout on Student Ministry.  The main communicator was Reggie Joiner and he also interviewed Greg and Bubba, from Lakepointe Church in Texas for their thoughts.

1. Create a ministry that outlasts your tenure in the church.

You can connect to 12 students at the most. Recruit leaders to connect beyond your capacity.

2. Rethink the relationship between students and their families.

Find leaders who have influence with parents and leverage their credibility.

As kids get older parents have the temptation to hand their kids off to the student ministry. For a season I try to parent him the way I parented my son as a child. I needed to reengage and redefine my relationship to him.

Your relationship, students, between you and your parents is as important as it was when you were a child. Even if they don’t reciprocate it’s still important so that you can break the cycles.

Myth: Parents think their teen doesn’t want a relationship with them. Not true.

-The Good Fight Series- Resource from XP3

Give students more responsibility so that they learn what it means to be the church.

Students are capable to lead their own peers as well as adults.

Empower them to serve and lead.

Move into a position and facilitator as coach.

How do you transition away from programming into a serving only model?

-       Don’t be afraid of change or losing control.

-       Recruit high capacity leaders not guilt-ed in leaders.

-       Student ministry requires a different kind of leader to get involved than children’s. The commitment level increases as the age increases. Kids seldom choose students do.

How do you measure your style of ministry based on serving?

Help students discover their spiritual gift and know how to use it before they graduate.

Theology issue…

Explain how you allow a non-believing teenager to serve in a believer based serving environment?

The Holy Spirit is the same in your student’s lives as it is in adults.

There is no strategy for this– it’s relationally based.